Lucky number 13, I should've known...
I knew today would be difficult. I knew it. First meeting with my 2nd tutorial prof in a building I'd never been to, getting library materials from a library housing over 10 million books, going to an unfamiliar city all by myself to interview for a job- I set myself up for a lot of hassle.
At the same time, I did everything I possibly could to get ready for all of this. Bought cheap bus tickets in advance, google earthed the place I'm interviewing, figured out the British "underground" system online, woke up 2 hours early and *gasp* picked out my clothes the night before (something I NEVER do).
But what can I say? It was just one of those days. I cried on the bus home for one minute already and now I'm done. I started off this day so positive I'm not going to let 'em grind me down (Thanks Mr. Baker-)
Nothing too terrible happened today, except that everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Which is a lot of little disappointments and a whole lot of stress. I've been running around like a maniac for 13 hours- smiling the whole time, I might add, but now I'm just beat.
But it's 2 hours till I'll be home so that'll be a little delayed.
The most disappointing thing today was the interview. Not that I did badly, because I didn't, it's just that I'm not sure I really want the job now. I suppose I could come up with a small list of semi-reasonable reasons as to why, but it's more a feeling. And I feel like an idiot for feeling that way because it's the chance of a lifetime! 1 year in London, 3 months of which in Italy or Germany and for sure 1 month in Switzerland. Working for a woman who organizes a charity- and who knows what sort of doors that might open? I feel like whatever the problems might be, I should ignore them, suck it up, and steal this opportunity.
The kids are sort of brats though, and I feel like the Mother doesn't know it. She is making them that way, after all. I can see this causing endless problems in the long run. How am I supposed to discipline them when she barely can? They aren't bad kids- they're just smart enough to know they can get away with a lot. And they do get away with a lot. It's a shame though, because Stephanie (the Mom) left me alone to watch her daughter at the park for about 20ish min, and the girl and I were fine alone together. Got along great actually, had a lot of fun.
I haven't even met the Dad. Which is sort of weird. He's really busy though as a banker in London.
London is a beautiful city. It has been really interesting to get driven around it on (A RED DOUBLE DECKER BUS!) all day. I missed my bus home though. Turns out the return bus doesn't leave from where we got dropped off from the arrival bus. I guess I shouldn't have assumed that. I did arrive early for the return bus, but when a guy gave me directions to where I was supposed to go, I couldn't follow his directions, and I had a really hard time finding it. Ended up showing up 10 min late, so I had to pay for a 2nd ticket and the whole thing just sucked.
Stephanie wants me to e'mail her what I think about the job. I don't know what to say. Urgh... I'm not even going to worry about it right now. I'm just going to get back to school and focus on that. It's so much more important. I think sometimes I don't know when to say when. My Dad's been telling me that since I was a kid, but I think it applies to life more generally too. I can usually handle so much, but then when it gets to be too much I ignore the fact and just let everything drive me crazy. It's like I take pride in being strong but looking like an idiot. I've got to stop that.
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